Last night a friend was in from out of town and brought with her the movie "Grease" for us all to watch - kids included. I remember watching the film as a child of 8 or 9 and loving it! It has great music, funny scenes, attractive people, etc. What more could you want from a movie? As a MOM though, it took on a whole new look...
While we were singing along to the song "Greased Lightening", and the words "she's a real pussy wagon" were sung, I stopped. Stopped dead in my tracks and looked around. 7 kids and 2 adults (well, 1 adult since I stopped to contemplate) were singing along, dancing like there was no tomorrow, and loving every minute of it. Was I the only one who heard the p-word? How could I have heard that song hundreds of times, sang along fully knowing the words, and not questioned if it was appropriate for my daughter and son to hear? Did my parents think it was no big deal for me to hear it as a kid? I know that isn't the case because I clearly remember listening to "Like a Virgin" with my mother one day in the car and singing along. I loved the song not because of the lyrics, but because it was Madonna. In the mid-eighties she was the closest to God I knew of! My mom looked over at me and said, "Do you know what that means?" I said "No", and continued singing my little heart out. As I grew I didn't go out and have lots of random sex with many men due to hearing the word "virgin". I also know that "Do Me" by Bel Biv Devoe didn't cause me to go out and DO anyone.
Being a parent and trying to discern what is appropriate is tough. Before kids I was very open with my talk and what I watched. I could discuss any subject just about anywhere, anytime. Even after my kids were born I slide a curse word in here and there - they didn't know any better, right? I'd would discuss most things in their presence because in my mind kids don't listen anyway, right? Then the repeating started and I began to see that kids do listen; especially when you don't want them to! I recall Lilly being 4 or 5 and while Sam would nap I would catch "Days of Our Lives". She would sit dutifully by my side and watch Sami, Austin, John, and Marlena live it up in fictitious Salem. She named her Barbie dolls after these characters and one Easter after receiving 2 new Barbies and 1 Ken doll she created a scene in which she narrated, "this girl was married to the guy but he didn't like her anymore and so he is gonna go and live with the other girl..." Needless to say that was the end of soap operas in our home.
I know we have a responsibility to protect our children and we need to monitor what they see and hear. However, where is that fine line between keeping them safe and driving them to be sneaky to see and do what they want to? I try to be open and honest with my kids - answering any questions they have on pretty much any subject. I just know that each day the world we live in pushes the envelope when it comes to taking away childhood bit by bit. It's my responsibility to know what my kids are up to as much as possible and do my duty as a parent to make sure they are safe. I am taking each day at a time, but God help me when my daughter asks me the next time we listen to "Greased Lightening", "Mommy? What is a pussy wagon?"
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