Monday, November 12, 2012

Adoption...It Ain't for the Weak.

Now it pretty much takes common sense to know that adoption is tough. It's not as easy as a glass of wine and a back rub that may eventually turn into a baby. Oh no. Adoption involves so very much more. You'll need a back rub and a glass of wine as you go, but it may not move things along or even make them easier or even produce the kid you long for. It seems like a "sure thing", but...

I'm an open book. I don't hide much and I am willing to share my experiences in hopes of helping others. Truthfully, I've just always been known as a "big mouth". I had no idea that upon choosing to move forward in the adoption process I would have to expose all parts of myself, including those parts I had forgotten about for so long. I didn't mind the medical exams and immunizations. I don't mind the paperwork although it can be very annoying. I don't mind the politics. The thing that really gets me is having to share every little detail of my personal life. It's one thing if it's my idea, but when I'm made to do it? Not as easy. And it's not basic questions. It's hard questions. Questions on integrity and morals. Questions of your dating and marriage history to your spouse. Now, don't get me wrong; I know why they ask all these things and we probably should ask parents that conceive biological children the same ones, but it's tough laying your whole life out to be scrutinized over and then be told if you are "fit" to parent. My young, yet very wise friend Rachael asked, "So two crack addicts can do 'it' under a bridge somewhere and have a kid and no one questions it, but you are trying to save a kid that lives in an orphanage that no one wants and you have to do all this?" Yup. That's pretty much it.

My husband and I know that we are supposed to do this. We are supposed to adopt our little guy. We are his forever family. If I didn't constantly keep that in mind and stay focused on the end goal it would be easy some days to shout a few expletives and be done with the whole stinking process! There a very few times in my life that I can recall following God's will for my life. I often know what He wants me to do, but since I like to control things I fight it. I fight Him. When it has come to adopting there has been little fight from me. We all just know it's where we are being led and so we go. When I start to worry about the money, the paperwork, the time, the possibilities...I am instantly calmed by that peace you hear about. You know, the kind that surpasses all understanding? So, even though I am weak, and sometimes the adoption process sucks, He is strong.  I persevere.  I follow. And in the end, that is what faith is all about, isn't it?

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