Ever?

The older my kids get the more I wonder when I won't worry so much! It started the second they were born. Maybe it's just me, but mothering is filled with worry. In the beginning, it's did they poop? What color was it? What's the consistency? How much are they eating? Do the whites of their eyes look yellow to you? Should I take them out of the house yet? Did you wash your hands before you touched them? And on and on and on... The older my kids get the harder it is! For me it was having less control over them and their surroundings. Letting them out from under my "wing" - I guess I am the Mother Hen! I just thought it would be easier.

These thoughts were prompted while my daughter spent yesterday at a nearby amusement park with a friend and her parents. Relinquishing control of her - even for a day - was so hard. What was she eating? Was she washing her hands before eating? Did she feel OK after all those stomach-twisting rides? I picked up the phone at least 3 times to call and then thought the better of it. If she needed me she would call. So she did. She was fine and having fun. Obviously, I have issues with control and anxiety. Nothing new to me, but it all took on a different meaning when children entered the picture. I look towards the future and see more sleepovers, dates, dances, summer camp - I can barely breathe! I once asked my mother when you stop worrying and start sleeping again through the night. Her simple response? "I still worry about you!" I guess it's just part of the job title "MOM" and truth be told, I wouldn't have it any other way.